Have you ever had that urge to break down and cry.
To strangle someone. Specifically yourself.
To jump off a cliff just because.
Or to jump into oblivion?
That you are completely alone and just....dead....
I kinda feel like that Now.
I mean, I'm surrounded by people but I'm completely alone
And I kinda want to cry.
I've thought about it. And I decided that, I am worthless. Completely worthless.
I'm mean
I'm violent
I'm sadistic
I'm not pretty
I'm scary
I have a tough exterior.
I'm going to end up all alone.
I'll never go to prom or Sadie's or anything like that.
Nobody will ask me. And nobody would torture themselves by spending a whole day with me.
I won't get a boyfriend.
Let alone a husband
I won't have kids
And I won't make it past 27.
If I die then, then I will still be young and people will pity me and not look at my dead corpse with disdain.
I'm done with it. I hate pretending. I hate acting.
My English teacher told me hate is a strong word
I told her that's why I use it.
She laughed.
So I'll say to the world:
I hate myself.
